Butch in relation to femmes, and vice-versa

i may only be butch for straight women.

i possess very few butch qualities, but the ones i have, i hold as deeply and as seriously as any butch. but i only feel those qualities when straight women are involved. example: i believe that every woman deserves to be taken out by a gentleman. he should pick you up, take you where you are going, pay for any expenses that should arise, and treat you with respect the entire time. if no straight man appears to be providing this service for a deserving straight woman of my acquaintance, i may feel obliged to offer.

this is completely different from my relationship with my partner, to whom i am always the femme. (and delightedly so, because he knows how to do all those gentlemanly things!) because i know how to be a good butch AND a good femme, i would never act on the above-mentioned sense of obligation as long as i am otherwise attached.

Further distinction of pieces of a gender

genderqueer = my internal perception of self (identity)

femme = my role in interactions (social behavior)

dyke = my outward appearance (physical presentation)

Androgyny as Activism

visible androgyny is a form of activism for me. i live my life to set an example that people who look like me can be successful in a professional setting, in a higher education setting, in a family setting. i want to set a good example for younger androgynes so they know that it can get better, if it's making them miserable, and that it doesn't have to get worse, if it's treating them alright so far. i want people who have never seen someone with my gender presentation before to know that we exist and that we're not scary, or even really all that different from them. (i do think that i have an advantage in this over my male counterparts, because females are more generally perceived as non-threatening. i don't think that's particularly fair.) by presenting a gender that is more central on the spectrum, we are visible evidence against a bi-gender culture. demolishing that structure is essential to the equality of all genders.